you guys were way drunker than both of me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
