I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
