I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
