Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
