Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize