if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
