dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
