its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
