I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
