Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The adults are the big ones right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
