She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
