I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
