:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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