whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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