By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
