You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize