Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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