dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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