In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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