he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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