from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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