I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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