He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
