It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
