I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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