hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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