you have to choose: penises or morals?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize