And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
