I need help removing her.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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