3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
