she was so not down for the gang bang
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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