I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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