so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My cat gives me a boner
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
