I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
