BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
