TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
