his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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