My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize