woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
