Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
