is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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