omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
