Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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