I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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