he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize