i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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