Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
