fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
