Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
