wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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