Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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