Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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