Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
