That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My life is pants optional.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
