remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
