Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
