You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize