So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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