Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
