tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You were trust falling into bushes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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