Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
