The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
