what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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