We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
