Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
