Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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