Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize