would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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